PSP - PlayStation Private? Or Public?

At any given moment in time I will generally have one or two things that really wind me up about commuting. My previous gripes have included eating fast food on public transport (which you can read about here), and taking up more than one space on a train either through a) a larger than average coat or b) through sheer ignorance (though tempted, I exclude the size of the individual, as I don't want to appear 'weightist'). One that crops up from time to time is people walking down the stairs at tube stations on the wrong side, even though there are prominent signs saying 'Keep left'. Often, without again wishing to appear prejudiced, these people tend to be foreign tourists, and therefore I tend to be fairly forgiving about such folk. After all, it's not like when you come off the ferries at Dover and you get multi-lingual signs advising which side of the road to drive on. (I tend to be less forgiving when they've physically knocked me over, of course.)

Today, however my spleen overfloweth - and therefore venting requireth it - with two issues. One is a consistent bugbear of mine, the other is a brand new contender for the top spot.

The first is not restricted to commuting per se, but I'm most acutely aware of it when trying to get to work: people who cannot walk in straight lines, thus preventing easy overtaking and hence hindering my smooth passage to work, whilst also raising my risk of limb entanglement or even death under a passing vehicle as a stroller's random zig-zagging manoeuvres force me to step off the pavement into the road. Here I have little patience - high heels and heavy luggage aren't valid excuses as far as my zero tolerance policy is concerned. Mobile phones appear to exacerbate the situation, and that feminist nonsense about men being unable to multi-task really doesn't wash here - male or female, if you are walking 'n talking you'll be all over the pavement, guaranteed. Short of putting overtaking lanes on pavements, I can't think of a solution, so this one's here to stay.

Not so with the second - people playing Sony PSPs on public transport with volume up and no headphones. I have endured this no less than three times and am suitably perplexed and frustrated. The first occasion was on a shuttle bus between JFK and downtown Manhattan. The noise pollutant here was a small child, and while it was annoying to be stuck in traffic in Queens after an early start listening to the between-stage music and explosions and gunshots (from the PSP, not from the general ambience of Queens), one glare at the child's parent did the trick and the offending machine was placed in mother's handbag; peace and quiet prevailed for at least ten seconds until the comparatively cacophanous wails and tears of said child made the PSP seem like mere background noise. The other two occasions were both on underground trains.

I really don't understand it. We've lived with people listening to the Walkman and it's many offspring for almost thirty years, and I assumed rightly or wrongly that people had cottoned on to the idea that everyone around you doesn't necessarily wish to enjoy your music along with you. Hell, people even got rid of annoying key tones on mobile phones a few years ago. So is it wrong for me to assume that PSP gamers would realise that that small socket at the back is designed for headphones?

I suspect it may have something to do with the level of absorption and concentration required by gamers. Despite many youthful years of trying, I have always been rubbish at computer games, but from those heady days I do recall many a time being called down to dinner by my mum and never actually hearing her yelling up the stairs, so absorbed was I. One of the two guys on the underground was so pre-occupied with his game that he missed his station. And, yes, recalling my nerdy game-playing days, games were better with the sound turned way up. The fact remains, undeniably, that PSPs are designed specifically for solitary enjoyment - you can even buy porn DVDs for them (which has the potential for all sorts of RSI combinations. But we digress).

Playing with volume up and no headphones makes whatever the player is doing a public event, therefore I'd suggest that if you are ever faced with this situation to try the following - wander over to the offending noise pollutant, get very, very close and watch the screen intently. After a while, ask for a go, or better still gloat vividly when (s)he makes a mistake. If that doesn't get a result, turn up your iPod and sing along as loud as you can. And if that doesn't work, you won't be able to hear anyway.